come and see the real thing, come and see

Saturday 21st feb, 2pm

I am currently located in the good ol’ hearty St Jeromes bar in the city. Although the stench from the nearby bins wafts into the courtyard, and the table on which my laptop is currently resting is covered in a sticky grime, it is a swell place. It’s somewhat like what I imagine New York to be. I just had a ginger ale and read through some of the info I have collected about requirements for jobs I’ve applied for. This week has been interesting, in me being powerless to an extent to determine my employment status.

It’s challenging to keep persisting when nothing is coming back to you. Logically you start to wonder whether or not your actions are having the effect you want, and if not, then why not. You tend to tweak your actions if you’re not being rewarded by them. But it’s different with this. The only way to do it is to persist. To work hard and consistently and not to get overwhelmed by the deafening silence coming from my mobile.

Once the fresh newness of the city wears off it’s time to get started, except I can’t.

Wednesday 25th Feb

It’s different having people around me who are also doing nothing. Since my housemates start uni next week, they’ve been leisurely hanging at home, eating, talking, reading. This somewhat eases me and lets me soak up this spare time, rather than feeling guilty about it. Some people were around the other day and we spent the whole afternoon sitting on the floor, talking and eating, everyone together. The internet man was meant to be arriving between 1 and 5pm, which evidently gave us an excuse to wait patiently for him. He never showed up, but it was a grand excuse to relax.

It rained last night. This grey light also makes me just want to rug up all day and read and drink milo. It feel s easier to do this when the weather is dull. Still, I will be hitting up Sydney Road soon and trying my next round of job hunting at a cafe. I will then head to savers quickly and also fill up my backpack with groceries, before heading home and doing just that. Then I can relax for the afternoon, eh?

Doing the open mike every Tuesday night is giving me the beginning of a routine, which is something I grasp onto warmly. I’m also starting Spanish lessons on Thursday night so both of these things will be good for me. Beneficial because regardless of the job circumstance I will still be doing something worthwhile.

It’s just waiting that is the annoying part. I’m having a trial tomorrow morning, and am also doing another waitressing gig on Friday. Will be saying goodbye to darling Pies after that. It’s gonna be entirely different without her.

I’m now off to email my darling sister Bump.

I hope you are all doing nicely.